Torn Between Love and Duty: A Padawan's Diary
by Bienniel
Summary: This is the Dairy of Farra Sti which she kept during the events of Destined. This is being written for the 2007 Dear Diary Challenge on the  forums.
1. Entry 1

01.01.07

Well its happened. Anakin has finally kissed me even though kissing is strictly forbidden for Jedi. I was on my way to get something to eat when I ran into Anakin and we collided resulting in us both hitting the ground hard. I apologized straight away of course.

"That's ok there was no harm done. I'm fine" Anakin told me.

Then he smiled at me with that killer smile of his. It made me want to melt inside. Of course I couldn't do that though.

"So where were you off to?" I asked him, having noticed that he was obviously heading somewhere himself.

"Obi Wan asked me to deliver a message to Tok Hin, another Padawan for him" Anakin told me.

"And why didn't you notice me before we collided"

Anakin blushed red before admitting to me that he had been thinking about me. It's no secret to me that he has feelings for me. I've seen the way he looks at me and I know he has seen how I look at him. I know he knows that I like him too. I mean he's so handsome and seems to be getting more handsome every day. I've known him since he was 9 and of late I can't get him out of my mind. I know its wrong but I just can't stop thinking about him. Thank goodness Ploon hasn't said anything but I'm sure he has noticed how I look at Anakin sometimes. I don't think Obi Wan has noticed anything either. Anakin told me he thinks I'm getting more and more beautiful. I know I have become a woman and that I AM good looking. But as a Jedi beauty isn't important to me. Anakin then asked me to go with him to find Tok Hin. Of course I had to get permission from Ploon first.

"I will need to get permission from my Master before I go" I said.

"I will wait here," Anakin told me.

I hurried off and found Ploon.

"Master, Anakin Skywalker has invited me to go with him to find Tok Hin to pass on a message from Obi Wan to him. May I have permission to go with him?" I asked.

"You may go but don't be too long. I wish to do some training exercises with you later" Ploon told me.

"I will be back as soon as I can," I promised.

I excused myself and hurried back to where Anakin was.

"I can go," I told him.

To be honest I was extremely happy that I could go with Anakin. And I did not miss his smile when I told him I could go. The two of us quickly made our way out of the Jedi Temple and found Tok Hin out on the streets of Coruscant. Anakin delivered the message and we headed back to the temple.

Just before we reached the Temple Anakin put his hand on my shoulder.

"I would like a moment before we go in. There is something I must tell you" Anakin told me.

I stopped and turned to face Anakin curious about what it might be.

"Farra I know this is wrong but I have feelings for you. I am deeply attracted to you and I like you a lot" Anakin told me.

I knew it!

"I've feelings for you too Anakin and I also know it is wrong" I said.

What was I saying? This could only go in one direction and that direction was a dangerous one. I looked at Anakin and he was smiling, his blue eyes radiating love.

"What if they weren't to know about how we feel about each other" Anakin asked me, "It can be our secret" he ended.

"Ploon already knows we are attracted to each other. He has seen how we look at each other," I admitted.

"Will he know if we act on our feelings?" Anakin asked me.

"I don't know" I have to admit.

Anakin smiles and steps forward. Placing a hand on my cheek he drops his head and gently guides my lips to his then kisses me. Yes KISSES me. Fireworks go up and down my spine, as his kiss is heavenly.

'Oh to hang with the rules' I think and wrapping my arms around Anakin's neck I pull him closer deepening the kiss.

Eventually we come up for air and draw apart.

"Wow Farra that was.. that was intense" Anakin told me.

"We better get back and we'd better pray that no one saw that. If even one Jedi or Padawan witnessed what we just did we are in deep poo doo"

Anakin nods and together we run back to the temple separating after entering as I had to join Ploon for those training exercises he mentioned. I made my way through the temple my mind on the kiss we had just shared. As I reached the prescribed meeting place I pushed the kiss from my thoughts. It would not do to have my thoughts betray what had just taken place between Anakin and I, as Ploon would not be amused. I did not want to be thrown out of the temple.


	2. Entry 2

02.01.07

I can't believe it. Anakin SNUCK into my room last night to see me. To see ME. I was awakened by the sound of my door handle turning and then as I watched, the door opened. When Anakin came in I wasn't sure who it was so I reached for my lightsaber, which was as usual right next to my bed. A Jedi must be ready to defend themselves at all times even when they are sleeping as one can never tell when an attack might occur. As I watched I could tell that my uninvited visitor was a male and I tightened my grip on my lightsaber ready to ignite it to defend myself. As my visitor got closer to my bed the moonlight slanting in from between my curtains hit his face revealing him to be Anakin.

"What in Sith's name are you doing here?" I hissed at him, trying to keep my voice down.

If anyone should find him in my room he was as good as expelled from the Order. It was one of their strictest rules that members of the opposite sex were not permitted in each other's room after we had gone to bed. And even during the day if we had a visitor of the opposite sex we must leave our room's door open. In fact I was as good as expelled from the order myself if we were caught.

"I had to see you again. I can't stop thinking about you" Anakin told me, his voice husky.

"If they find you in here we will be expelled from the Order. You must leave at once," I told him.

I expected him to leave but he sat down on my bed and I realized he hadn't got the message.

"Please Anakin you must go. I don't want either of us being expelled from the Order," I said.

Anakin leant forward and I knew what he intended to do.

"Anakin no. This can't happen" I said.

"I know what you want. What we both want," Anakin told me.

"We can't have a relationship. You know that as well as I do," I said sternly.

"I think about you every day Farra. I want to be with you" Anakin said.

"And what about Padme. I know she has been watching you," I said.

"Ever since I met you it's been you I've thought about. I can't explain it but there is this deep feeling inside me" Anakin said.

"I bit my lip. I didn't know what to say, as I knew Anakin knew that I thought about him every day as well. Looking at Anakin I was torn by indecision. Could I? Should I?

"I know you think about me too," Anakin said softly.

"Look Ani, I can't allow this to happen" I began, only to be cut off by Anakin's lips on mine.

He kissed me deeply and again fireworks shot up and down my spine and a warm tingly feeling passed through me.

When we came up for air I smiled at Anakin and the next thing I knew I had pulled him close, crashing my lips against his. I wanted to taste him again and didn't care about my oaths to the Jedi right then.

"I know this is right" Anakin told me after we'd broken the kiss, "We've been friends for a long time and this is a natural progression"

"What about our Jedi vows. Jedi do not love" I admonished him.

"I think there are things our Masters are mistaken about. Shouldn't it be our intentions when using the force that are important? Not our emotions. Our emotions may dictate our intentions but only if we let them" Anakin told me.

I thought for a moment and could see the wisdom in what Anakin was saying but I couldn't see how it could be possible for the other Masters to accept this new idea about the good and bad side of the Force.

"I would agree with you Anakin but our Masters will not agree" I told Anakin.

"I know" Anakin said.

We spent the next two hours talking and kissing before Anakin returned to his own room.

This morning we had lightsaber training and I was paired with Anakin. Just seeing him bought back a rush of pleasure from what had happened last night. Yoda was taking our class and was watching each pair of us dueling. We had to watch as well of course but it was hard to watch with Anakin by my side. Finally it was our turn to duel and Yoda called our names. We moved to the front of the class and ignited our lightsabers. Circling one another we began dueling, our lightsabers clashing with loud hums and bright flashes of light. Suddenly I could see that Anakin was distracted and in a sudden movement I had disarmed him. He looked stunned for a moment then sheepish when he realized what had happened. I returned his lightsaber to him.

"How did you do that?" Anakin asked me.

"You need to concentrate more and be more mindful of what you are doing" Yoda admonished him before I could answer.

"Yes Master I try" Anakin said.

"And that was very nicely done Padawan Sti" Yoda said to me.

"Thank you Master Yoda" I said.

As we were the last to duel Yoda spent some time telling us how to improve our dueling techniques then dismissed us. I could tell that Anakin was still distracted and not paying as close attention as he should be. I decided to go to my room and mediate but Anakin followed me and caught my arm.

"You did well today Farra" he told me.

"You were thinking about me weren't you Anakin. When I disarmed you I mean," I said.

"Yes, yes I was. I need to control my thoughts and concentrate on what I am doing" Anakin admitted.

He smiled me and again I felt weak at the knees.

"But class is over. Shall we take a stroll in the gardens?" he asked.

I guessed immediately what was on his mind and nodded. I wouldn't mind at all as I knew I wanted him to kiss me again. We headed down to the gardens and walked through them, Anakin leading me to the dell, knowing quite well we'd be alone there and out of sight of the other users of the garden. Once we were alone we quickly fell into each other's arms kissing hungrily. After that we just sat and talked, kissing between sentances.


	3. Entry 3

03.01.07

Well it happened again. Anakin again suck into my room to see me last night. I had been meditating and a couple of hours after lights out Anakin suck in. This time I knew it was he when the door handle opened so I didn't reach for my lightsaber. He slipped in and closing the door behind him came over to my bed.

"You look beautiful tonight Farra" he said.

"I try not to notice my looks," I murmured.

Anakin smiled then kissed me. It was what I'd been waiting for.

"You know, I still can't believe I disarmed you this afternoon in training. That is not like you Ani. Even when you are distracted you usually are too good to beat," I said, after we'd come up for air.

"I know. I guess was too busy daydreaming about kissing a certain lovely Padawan. Like this" he kissed me, "and like this" he kissed me again.

"Ani stop it. We can't continue like this," I said, making another effort to get Anakin to see reason.

"Farra don't tell me to stop. I know you want this as much as I do" Anakin said to me, nuzzling into me.

Then he started running his fingers through my hair and caressing my scalp. By the Force it felt good and I knew Anakin was picking up on my thoughts.

"I know what you're thinking Farra" Anakin said, grinning.

We spent the next two hours just being alone with each other, talking and kissing. Anakin knew that I wouldn't want it to go beyond that as I had made it clear to him the previous night that I wasn't ready for anything more and wouldn't be unless something drastically changed. Finally it grew late and Anakin decided to go back to bed. He kissed me one last time then silently slipped out of my room. I was alone with my thoughts. Did I or did I not want a relationship with Anakin Skywalker. Every fiber of my being was telling me that a relationship was the last thing I should want but my mind was screaming to me that a relationship with Anakin was right and that I should pursue it. I finally fell asleep still uncertain as to what I should do.

The next morning I got the shock of my life as Ploon summoned me and told me that Obi Wan had seen Anakin and I in the garden dell the previous day.

"I have had a disturbing report from Obi Wan. He informed me that he saw you and Anakin together in the garden dell and Anakin had his arm around your shoulders. Then he kissed you. Kissed you! And you kissed him back. I'm disappointed in you Farra, as I had thought you were much better than that. Is it true that you have feelings for him?" Ploon asked.

I couldn't lie to Ploon.

" I like Anakin a lot. We've been best friends for years but now I think he wants to be more than friends with me"

"And do you want to be more than friends with him?" Ploon asked me.

"Yes I do. He and I feel the same way. We have not acted improperly towards each other though. I mean we've kissed and cuddled but its not gone beyond that. I am not ready for it to go beyond that," I answered.

"Farra!! You know that thoughts like these are forbidden to the Jedi. I would suggest you put them out of your mind. You could be expelled from the order if you continue on in this manner" Ploon said.

"I have tried to dissuade Anakin but he won't listen to me. And to be honest it just feels right when he kisses me" I said.

"Farra you must put Anakin out of your mind and not encourage this behavior" Ploon told me"

"I will do my best Master," I said.

Ploon dismissed me then and I joined my class ready for the first exercises of the day. I did not look at Anakin, as I did not want to encourage him. Thankfully it would seem that Ploon does not know of Anakin's nightly visits to my room.


	4. Entry 4

04.01.07

After much soul searching I decided that I must MUST avoid Anakin and focus on our studies. It would be impossible for us to have a relationship, as the Jedi would never allow it. I wish Anakin would see that. Unfortunately he snuck into my room again to see me. I didn't know what to do and when he sat down on my bed I asked if Obi Wan had said anything to him today.

"Yes he did. He saw us in the garden dell. Saw us kissing. I'm guessing that he told Ploon from your asking me about it"

"I know. Ploon spoke to me also," I said.

It was after Anakin commented that he thought Obi Wan had told Ploon that I realized that was indeed what must have taken place. Darn him!

"We cannot allow this to continue. I cannot jeopardize my future here" I said.

Anakin looked down and I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Please Farra don't say that" Anakin said, his voice cracking.

"Well what else can we do? We'll be expelled if we carry on like this," I said.

"We need to convince our Masters that what we talked of the other night is right," Anakin said.

He tipped my head up and moved to kiss me. I hesitated but even though my mind was screaming at me to stop what was going to happen I allowed Anakin to meet my lips with his. I had no idea why I had allowed him to kiss me but deep inside I knew it was right.


	5. Entry 5

11.01.07

It's been a week since Ploon and Obi Wan spoke to Anakin and I. I have been doing my best to avoid Anakin and not encourage him. He hasn't snuck into my room again as I told him that I wanted that to stop. I wanted him to stop coming to my room and to do it for me.

"If you love me you'll respect my wishes" I said.

Anakin had finally given in and it has been a relief not to have him coming to my room at night. Really it was only a matter of time before his nightly visits would be discovered. Of course he still tried to get me alone and it was with reluctance that I had pushed him away each time. However today we had no choice but to work together. Our Masters were asked to go to Tatooine to settle a dispute and of course we had to tag along too. I was not thrilled about having to spend time with Anakin, as I knew his thoughts would be on me the whole time. During the journey to Tatooine our Masters instructed us to stay in the back while they would be up front.

"Are you sure that it would be wise to leave them alone?" Obi wan had asked Ploon.

"Farra has demonstrated to me that she is not encouraging Anakin" Ploon said.

"Alright then. But don't say I didn't warn you" Obi Wan said.

Of course Anakin was delighted that we were left alone.

"We are alone Farra. This is our chance," he had said eagerly.

"Anakin I don't wish to discuss this again" I had said firmly.

"No one will know" Anakin told me.

"Our Masters will sense what is going on back here," I said.

"They'll be concentrating on flying this bucket. We are quite safe" Anakin told me.

"Anakin I…" I began only to be cut off by Anakin's lips against mine.

By the Force it felt good to be kissed by him again. And Anakin sensed this, intensifying the kiss as he did so. When we came up for air Anakin smiled at me.

"See Farra this IS what you want. We can make this work. We just have to be careful not to be found out again. We must make Obi Wan and Ploon believe we are carrying out their instructions"

I looked down trying to hide my feelings from Anakin. He tipped my head up and met my lips with his again. Suddenly something broke inside me and I yanked Anakin close, devouring his lips with mine.

"Alright we can try this," I said, "As long as we aren't caught"

Anakin smiled and kissed me to seal our decision. When we came up for air we sat together my left hand in Anakin's right, our fingers entwined. When we landed on Tatooine and we heard Obi Wan coming to the back we quickly dropped hands.

"Did you have a good trip Padawans? I trust nothing untoward happened back here.

He looked at us both and for a moment I could swear he had sensed what had gone on. My fears were allied though when Obi Wan returned to the front of the ship without saying anything more.

"My word Anakin I really thought he'd sensed something," I said.

"I know. My heart skipped a beat too," Anakin said.

We followed our Masters off the ship occasionally sneaking a glance at each other. Anakin and I were quickly told to stay with the ship and that our Masters could handle things. I was about to protest and ask to go along when Anakin shot me a look and I realized that he wanted us to be left alone. I didn't say anything and we watched as our Masters left. When they had gone Anakin grinned.

"Alone again at last" he said.

I smiled and then we fell into each other's arms and kissed.


	6. Entry 6

01.02.07

Over the last few weeks Anakin and I have managed to see each other each day. We have had to pick and choose our times carefully but it is always a delight to be with each other. I now see that Anakin is right. We are meant to be together. He also continues to sneak in at night. Two weeks ago we had a very close call. He was sitting on my bed and we were kissing intently when we heard footsteps.

"Quick under my bed" I hissed.

Anakin scrambled under my bed just before Aayla Secura, a female Jedi Master came in.

"Is everything ok Farra?" she asked me, "I thought I heard you talking to someone"

"I'm fine," I said, desperately praying that Anakin wouldn't sneeze and give himself away.

Aayla nodded and headed for the door.

"Good night Farra" she said.

"Night" I said.

After she'd gone Anakin came out from under my bed.

"Whew that was a close one," he said.

I giggled then regained my composure.

"Are you going back to your room now?" I asked.

"I don't think so," Anakin said, cupping my jaw in his hand.

I smiled as he began placing a series of kisses on my jaw line.

"You've got such beautiful skin and eyes," he murmured.

I found Anakin's lips with mine and kissed him intently wanting the kiss to go on forever. After what seemed like an eternity we came up for air.

Anakin smiled at me.

"I am liking this a lot," he said.

He kissed me again.

Eventually he had to return to his room and I went to sleep. Not surprisingly my dreams of late have been about Anakin and I'm sure his have been of me.

After that close call we were even more careful not to be seen together except if we were in a class that we shared. Even then I tried not to sit next to Anakin, as I knew my face might give us away. I also have had to guard my thoughts very closely as has Anakin. Thankfully we have not had to go on any more missions together and that has made things considerably easier. Its so exciting being part of a secret relationship. Some of the other Padawans have begun to suspect something but we aren't telling them as they may go running to their Masters and blab to them. That's the last thing we need. Anakin is so dreamy and I know I am one lucky Padawan. But it could all go wrong and we know that is a reality we have to be constantly aware of. But for now I shall enjoy being Anakin's girlfriend. That's right his girlfriend. He told me last night in my room that I am officially his secret girlfriend. I felt all warm and tingly inside and I love how I feel around Anakin. I just had to kiss him and show him my appreciation of that comment. Then we had an all out tickling war, which is something we've started doing lately. It's a lot of fun and I've learnt all of Anakin's most ticklish places and he's learnt all of mine. Stay tuned for more!!


	7. Entry 7

01.03.07

Another quiet month has passed at the temple. At least it was quiet until Siri Tachi caught Anakin in my room with me. She is a close friend of Obi Wan and had come in to see why she could hear voices in my room. And this time Anakin didn't have time to hide.

"Just what is going on in here?" Siri asked, "I hope it's not what I think it is"

"Anakin and I are not sleeping together," I said.

"He shouldn't be in here and you should know that," Siri admonished.

"Please don't tell Obi Wan. He'll kill me," Anakin said.

"You know I should tell him. But something is telling me I shouldn't" Siri said.

We looked at her with hope on our faces.

"I won't tell him but you have to tell me the truth. Are you two fooling about behind the Jedi's backs? Its ok, Obi Wan and I did exactly the same thing when we were younger. You'll grow out of it like we did" Siri said.

We could hardly believe our ears. Obi Wan had snuck around with a female padawan too?? Whoa this was juicy all right.

"To be honest yes. We love each other," Anakin blurted out.

"Ok. Well I don't think I saw anything in here so good night Farra. Anakin I wouldn't stay in here too much longer. The other female Jedi won't be as understanding as I" Siri said.

She turned and left the room closing the door quietly behind her. As soon as she was gone Anakin and I turned to each other and burst out laughing.

"Who would have thought" Anakin said, "We aren't the only ones with a naughty little secret" he ended.

"Anakin you are not to use what Siri told us to your or our advantage. We aren't supposed to know about their secret remember" I said sternly.

"Darn" Anakin said.

He pouted but then he moved forward and kissed me so I knew he was only joking around. I kissed him back and soon we were caught up with each other again. Why did time always seem to fly when Anakin was around? All too soon I knew Anakin needed to go back to his own room and to bed.

"You should go back to your room Anakin. It's late and you need your sleep" I said gently.

"You're right Farra. Goodnight" Anakin said.

He gave me one last kiss then slipped quietly out of my room.

A few days later we began hearing about attempts on Senator Amidala's life. We were told not to worry too much as her staff were following leads. I wondered how Anakin was handling the news and learnt that he wasn't terribly alarmed.

"Of course if it was you who was in danger I'd be worried stiff" he told me.

"You know that I can look after myself perfectly well," I told him lightly.

"We'll have to wait and see if this situation with Amidala clears up by itself," Anakin said.

So we continued to wait and keep up to date using holonet. Anakin and I had discussed if the attacks could be connected to the dark lord killed some ten years earlier.

"We don't know as we still don't know if it was the apprentice or the master that was killed" Anakin told me.

The council had been keeping tabs on the situation themselves and although we didn't know it they would soon be acting in the matter.


	8. Entry 8

01.04.07

Senator Amidala almost lost her life today. It is the second attempt on her life in the last two months. The Jedi council met almost immediately and decided that Amidala would have to return to Naboo for her own safety and that a Jedi should go with her for safety. I was the Jedi chosen for the job, which means that I will soon be on my way to Naboo. I am excited about the trip but also wondering how I am going to survive without Anakin. Although he has been pretty busy lately investigating the previous attack on Amidala we've still managed to see one another when he's been home. For a week he and Obi Wan were off planet and the only contact I had with Anakin was when he and Obi Wan sent reports back. At least I knew what Anakin was up to. I know he must have missed me as much as I missed him judging from the way he kissed me in the garden dell after they got back. It was like he wanted to make up for the week all at once. We literally fell into each other's arms and couldn't stop kissing each other. It was so good to be back in his arms, to smell his masculine scent and hear his deep sexy voice. Force I had missed him and it was then that I knew without a doubt that we were MEANT to be together.

So, after I was informed I was to go to Naboo I was in my room packing for the trip when I felt a familiar pair of arms go around my waist.

"How's my favorite Padawan?" Anakins voice asked.

"Oh Anakin I wish I wasn't having to go. It was awful being apart last week and here we are having to go through it again," I said to Anakin.

"We survived last time and we'll survive again," Anakin said.

"Its funny Ani, my skills improved greatly while you weren't here" I said.

"Probably because you didn't have me to distract you," Anakin said.

"You got it" I said, "When I was studying I actually managed to put you out of my mind and focus on what I was doing" I said.

"Force I better go. I can hear someone coming" Anakin said, "If they find me in here and its not Siri I'm dead"

He kissed me softly then hurried out of my room. I resumed packing then changed into civilian garb as I had been advised to do so.

Later that morning I joined Amidala at the spaceport and we prepared to leave. As luck would have it Anakin and Obi Wan were there as they were heading off world again to investigate the latest attack on Amidala. Naturally Anakin and I managed to slip out of sight of the others.

"By the Force you look good" Anakin told me.

"Hello Anakin" I said.

He smiled and leant forward.

The usual battle between mind and body was telling me not to let him kiss me and reminding me that I'd promised myself that I must focus on my studies.

"No Anakin I promised myself I wouldn't" I said.

However as I said this I was already thinking about how good he looked and before I knew what was happening Anakin's lips were on mine and I was letting him kiss me. It would be our last kiss before we parted on our respective missions and Anakin made it a long and lingering kiss. Finally our lips had to part and it was with great reluctance that we drew apart and Anakin returned to Obi Wan.

"May the Force be with you Anakin?" I said.

I turned and hurried off my mind already focusing on my mission. I knew Anakin was watching me as I left. Suddenly I picked up on his thoughts and found myself blushing at what he was thinking about. There was no way I would let him act on those particular thoughts anytime soon. I rejoined Amidala and the two of us boarded our transport to Naboo. I hardly knew Amidala so during the trip I made light conversation with her trying to get to know her. Naturally the topic of Anakin came up and Amidala asked me how he was.

"Anakin's fine" I replied.

"Do you have a lot to do with him?" Amidala asked.

I nearly choked when she asked me this and I could feel my face going flame red. Thankfully I wasn't looking directly at her so she didn't see me blushing.

"We are in the same class so I do see quite a lot of him" I said carefully.

"Does he talk about me at all?" Amidala asked.

Sithspawn this was dangerous ground.

"He's only mentioned you once to me" I said.

And that was the truth. Anakin had never mentioned Padme to me again since telling me that he didn't think about her anymore. Only me.

"I suppose as a Jedi he's had to train himself not to think about me," Amidala said.

"I suppose he has," I said.

"On the other had there must be lots of pretty female Padawans around. I sure hope he hasn't started fancying someone else. I still love him you know and think about him all the time"

If Padme knew what had been going on between Anakin and I her heart would break into a million pieces.

"Um I think you should try to put Anakin out of your mind. As a Jedi he's not allowed attachment so I wouldn't hold out hope that he still wants to be with you" I advised.

"I know. I know. Its just… just he's so handsome now"

I knew exactly what she was talking about. I was saved from having to answer any more questions as the ship had arrived on Naboo. Amidala took me to meet her family. There she introduced me as one of her friends and we had a meal. Then I was introduced to the Queen of Naboo and there I revealed my real identity. After our meeting was over Amidala gave me a tour of the area near her home. I would be staying with the Naberries while I protected Amidala.


	9. Entry 9

25.04.07

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I am still shaking as I write this. I was almost… I can't write it down. Thank the Force Anakin showed up when he did. If he'd been a few minutes later Force knows what would have happened to me. I was returning from Naboo, summoned home by Ploon. Only it wasn't Ploon but soldiers working for the Trade Federation. Just as I was about to enter hyperspace an explosion shook my ship. I was knocked unconscious and when I awoke I was on another ship, my hands manacled above my head and surrounded by strange men.

"What have we here?" one of them asked when he saw that I had awakened.

I realized that they hadn't spotted my lightsaber as it was concealed under my cloak. My arms were beginning to ache from bearing the weight of my body but I stared straight ahead and didn't say anything. Then the soldier who had spoken ripped my cloak away revealing my lightsaber to them.

"She's a Jedi," someone hisses

"And a female one at that. So young too"

Suddenly one of them had drawn back his hand and struck me across the face. My head snapped back and I tasted blood. I blinked but didn't cry out in pain. I wasn't going to give them any satisfaction. I concentrated and used the Force to help me remain calm. They all began kicking me and hitting me trying to get me to talk but I said nothing. Finally they grew tired of hitting me and stepped back.

"If beating you won't get you to talk perhaps something else will" one of them said.

"Use whatever means you have to make her talk" the commander ordered.

I became alarmed as they stepped forward. I could see a glint in their eyes. Surely they weren't going to… I tried to jerk my body away as they grabbed my outer tunic. I knew it was made of a strong fabric but I didn't know how strong it was. I continued to twist and buck until two of them held me still. Closing my eyes I willed myself to remain calm. Suddenly an explosion rocked the ship and I felt the hands holding me release me. Opening my eyes I saw the soldiers running out of the room to see what was going on. I myself was wondering what was going on. Could it be Jedi rescuing me? Oh if only it was Anakin. I needed him there right then. Then I heard the familiar hum of a lightsaber and knew that there was at least one Jedi on board the ship. Please let it be Anakin. Please let it be Anakin I thought to myself hoping against hope that it was. If it was and he was alone we would be able to do what we liked without having to be careful. I looked at the door waiting to see who came through it. First a soldier came through obviously having been propelled by a force shove. Then to my joy Anakin stepped through the doorway. He was there, really there. The soldier had gotten to his feet and pulled a blaster. I watched as he fired a bolt at Anakin. Anakin easily deflected the bolt away then spun to deflect bolts from soldiers behind him, reducing them to smoking corpses.

The soldier in the room had circled around behind me and put his gun to my head.

"Stop or I'll kill her," he snarled at Anakin.

Anakin looked at him then extended his hand. The soldier looked surprised as his gun flew from his hand into Anakin's hand.

"Go on get out" Anakin growled.

I could see that he would like to have killed him but was controlling himself knowing that the man was unarmed. Jedi did not kill unarmed opponents. The soldier ran past Anakin who followed him out of the room presumably to deal with the rest of the soldiers. Anakin returned a few minutes later and told me that the soldiers were all dead except for the unarmed one who he'd locked in the ship's brig.

"Oh Ani, thank the Force you arrived when you did. They were trying to make me talk and... and" I couldn't continue.

"Its ok I'm here," Anakin said.

He flicked his hand and the cuffs around my wrists opened. I started to drop to the deck and knew I wouldn't be able to stand. Almost instantly Anakin was there and had caught me in his arms. By the Force he smelt good and I relaxed instantly. I could see concern in Anakin's eyes.

"How bad is it?" I managed to say.

"You're bruised. Lovely shiner I must say.

"They were beating me," I told him.

"They won't be beating you again. I've seen to that," Anakin said.

I smiled up at him and Anakin leant down, finding my lips with his. I drank in his kiss, relishing the fact that we were alone. It felt wonderful to be with Anakin again. Nothing could go wrong as long as he was there.

"Did you pick up my emergency beacon's signal? I managed to activate it.

"Yes. I'd convinced Obi Wan to let me come and rescue you. I knew you were in trouble and couldn't let anything happen to you. I love you Farra" Anakin said.

"I love you too Anakin" I said.

We kissed again and when we pulled away to get air I suddenly realized I was missing my lightsaber. The commander of the soldiers had taken it from me before they started beating me. I hadn't seen it since.

"You didn't happen to get my lightsaber back off of the soldiers did you?" I asked.

"I didn't know they had it. We'd better search the ship" Anakin said.

I found that I still didn't feel up to walking. In fact I wasn't feeling very well at all.

"Wait here I'll search the ship" Anakin said.

I nodded and Anakin walked quickly out of the room. 10 minutes later he was back.

"Can't find it" Anakin said, "Which of the soldiers took it from you"

"The commander" I said.

"Sithspawn!" Anakin exclaimed, "he got sucked out into space as there was a hull breech when I boarded the ship. That was the explosion you felt. I'm sorry Farra it must have been sucked out with him"

"What am I going to do Anakin? That lightsaber was my life. Ploon will kill me if he finds out I've lost it"

"Not your fault. And I know how you feel. Obi Wan's chewed me out for misplacing mine several times"

"I heard that Qui Gon had to chew him out when they were on Naboo during the events of 10 years ago for not looking after his saber"

"Yeah he did" Anakin said.

I was devastated at the loss of my lightsaber. It was unique to me, as I'd built it a few years earlier. I'd built it to resemble Ploon's out of respect for him, as was the custom. I knew Anakin's lightsaber was unique as well as he'd built it while in a trance.

"Damn" I said.

"Don't worry about it. You can construct a new lightsaber," Anakin told me.

"I know that but what about in the meantime. I need to be able to defend myself should the need arise" Farra said.

"I'm sure you can borrow someone else's lightsaber"

"Is the Senator ok?"

"Yes another Padawan is with her," Anakin told me.

I nodded and then suddenly everything spun and I passed out. When I woke up again I was onboard Anakin's ship and he was sitting by me. He told me that I had been in a healing trance so that I could begin to heal. I slowly sat up and found that I felt a lot better. Anakin told me that he had left the ship on autopilot.

"I'm feeling a lot better now," I said.

Anakin smiled and reaching up gently caressed my cheek with his thumb.

"I'm so glad you are ok. I had sensed you were in trouble and it was driving me crazy. It was difficult convincing Obi Wan to let me come and find you as he didn't think he could trust me if I was alone with you.

"He's right you know. He did catch us kissing in the garden dell you know," I said.

Suddenly what could have happened hit me and I started to shake.

"If you hadn't showed up when you did.." my voice trailed off as tears started to run down my cheeks.

"I know. I know. And then I would have had to kill them" Anakin said.

I knew he was joking.

Anakin held me close as I sobbed, gently caressing my face, whispering words of comfort to me. Not surprisingly we ended up kissing again once my tears had subsided.

We talked the rest of the way back to Coruscant.


	10. Entry 10

26.04.07   
After Anakin and I got back to the Jedi Temple the healers treated my injuries. When they were finished I went to the garden dell where I sat and meditated. I had a lot to think about. When Anakin and I had said we loved each other it was the first time we had said this. For me it confirmed what I already knew. There was no going back now as we had both expressed forbidden feelings for each other. Jedi were not supposed to love but we had clearly fallen in love. Oh if only things were simpler and we could be free to express our love without fear of being expelled from the order. The Masters were wrong we just knew it. But how could we show them that. I was so caught up in my meditation that I didn't notice Anakin joining me. He had decided to meditate himself and was still doing so when I ended my meditations. It was then I noticed how hot it was and decided to take a swim. I stood and walked to the lake where I removed everything except my inner tunic and pants.

I dived into the lake and joined the other Padawans and younglings who were swimming and playing games. I joined a group of younglings who are tossing a ball back and forth and joined their game. I was still tossing the ball back and forth with them when I notice that Anakin has come down to the lake and has stripped off down to his pants. By the Force his chest looks incredibly sexy and I have to quickly focus my thoughts on something else least my other thoughts are picked up. I see Anakin dive into the lake and a few moments later he pops up beside me and joins in the game I am playing with the younglings. At the end of the game Master Unduli who had joined us at the lake told the younglings it was time to go inside. Us Padawans were allowed to stay in the lake longer. The younglings obediently stream out of the lake and Master Unduli takes them back inside. I swam over to a quiet corner of the lake and watch the younglings leaving. When they have gone I notice that the other Padawans have also gone leaving us alone. Anakin has joined me and he has also noticed that we are alone.  
"Finally alone again" he said.  
"Yes" I said.  
Anakin asked me how I was doing.  
"Well I'm fully recovered from what happened. Just have to make a new lightsaber still" I said  
Anakin told me that he and Obi Wan were going to be going to Geonosis, as the Separatists were believed to be there.  
"Do be careful Anakin," I said.  
I was already dreading his leaving. I knew I'd miss him terribly.   
Anakin smiles, "Aren't I always" he said  
Anakin smiled and leant forward. I eagerly awaited his kiss and kissed him back hungrily.

When we came up for air Anakin smiled at me.  
"I wish we didn't have to be so careful not to be seen. This secrecy is killing me," he said.  
"Me too" I said.  
We kissed again and again. I finally broke the embrace knowing that we could be seen at any time.  
"We shouldn't be doing this. What if we are seen?" I asked.  
"No one is around" Anakin said, running a trail of kisses down my jaw ending at my lips.  
The feeling of his lips on my skin set my skin on fire.  
"Anakin we should stop. We aren't married and if we don't stop we may do something we'd later regret" Farra said.  
I again picked up his thoughts.  
"Like what you are thinking about," I said.  
Anakin had the good grace to blush.  
"I am nowhere near ready for that," I said.  
"Don't worry I won't pressure you" Anakin assured me.

Reluctantly Anakin kissed me one last time then climbed out of the lake and went inside. I followed a few minutes later. As I got changed in my room into dry trousers and undertunic I reflected on Anakin's news. It would mean another long separation where I'd only know how he was doing via their reports. I would miss his nightly visits to my room, which had become a nightly ritual for us. Of course I expected I would see him tonight and we would have to make it special since it would be the last for some time. I knew I would survive our separation and it would make it all the sweeter to see him when he came back. I didn't have a chance to think about Anakin after that as it was dinnertime and then Ploon and I worked on my lightsaber technique until bedtime. Ploon had been displeased to hear that I'd lost my lightsaber but had accepted that it wasn't my fault. He'd arranged for me to borrow another one from a dead knight until I could make another one. I had felt strange in my hands and it had taken me some time to adjust to it, as it was a little heavier than mine had been and the hilt slightly longer.


	11. Entry 11

27.04.07

Anakin and Obi Wan left today. I was at the spaceport to see them go, as I wanted to be able to see Anakin off. Ploon had suspected that I wanted to go along so I could see Anakin but let me go along with them knowing Obi Wan would be there and would ensure that there wouldn't be any breeches of the Jedi code. So much for Obi Wan preventing breeches of the Jedi Code!! As soon as Obi Wan's back was turned Anakin grabbed my hand and winked at me. I followed him around a corner and out of sight of Obi Wan. No other Jedi were around so we were pretty safe. Anakin leant in and kissed me, wrapping his arms around me and drawing me close.

"Farra I love you and we've been together for 4 months now. I've been thinking. Would you consider getting married to me?" Anakin asked after we came up for air.

"Anakin I don't know how we could manage that. No one at the temple could marry us and I doubt our Masters would let us go off and get married," I said.

The whole idea seemed preposterous. Although I knew in my heart that it was what I wanted too.

"I know I know" Anakin said.

"And how would we be able to live as husband and wife. You know quite well what would happen if you were caught in my room" I said.

"I'd sneak in as usual and spend most of the night with you before going back to my room before morning so as not to be caught" Anakin said.

"And if I should get pregnant? I wouldn't exactly be able to hide it after the first 5 months or so"

"You're right. Bad idea" Anakin said.

We would revisit the idea a few years later but we didn't know it then.

Anakin kissed me again then told me we'd better get back before we were missed. We returned to where Obi Wan was to find that thankfully he'd been so busy discussing the mission with Master Windu who had shown up after we disappeared that he'd not missed us.

"Greetings Padawans" Mace said.

"Greetings Master Windu" we replied.

"I trust the two of you have been helping Master Obi Wan get ready for the mission, especially you young Anakin since you are going with him"

"Um err. Farra and I were around the corner talking," Anakin said.

This was the truth as we HAD been talking. Anakin had simply omitted the fact that we'd kissed.

Obi Wan shot Anakin a look that clearly suggested that he suspected that we'd done more than talked.

"I'll speak to you later my young apprentice" he said.

Finally it was time for Anakin and Obi Wan to leave. Anakin and I hugged and Anakin whispered in my ear that he'd be thinking of me and would miss me.

"I'll miss you too my secret love" I whispered.

We would have liked to have kissed one last time but Obi Wan was watching us so even our hug had to be brief as we didn't' want Obi Wan reading anything into it. Then Anakin made his way up into the ship and I turned to go back to the temple. Master Windu who was still there suggested I return to the temple with him.

"Yes Master" I said dutifully.

Banther poo doo. I did hope that Master Windu wasn't going to tell me he'd had reports about Anakin and I as I knew I could not lie.

"You are doing well in your studies Padawan Sti. Soon you will be ready to be knighted. I trust that you will continue to work hard," Master Windu said.

Phew he hadn't heard anything. I was pleased to hear that I would soon be knighted and I wondered if Anakin would be too.

"I am pleased to hear that Master" I said.

"These are troubled times" Master Windu said as we neared the temple, "Now more than ever we must be on our guard and keep our focus on what is important".

I nodded and then we were in the temple grounds and I was able to go to my room.


	12. Entry 12

30.04.07   
It's been a few days since Anakin and Obi Wan left to go to Geonosis. And believe it or not I haven't had time to miss Anakin, as I've been busy with classes and building my new lightsaber. I am building the hilt to resemble Anakin's lightsaber hilt, as I know this will make him happy. I just hope that if one of the Masters sees my hilt and realizes that its similar to Anakin's hilt he or she won't suspect anything. I know that I mustn't let Obi Wan or Ploon get a close view of it, as they WILL know why I made the hilt the way I'm making it. The blade in my lightsaber will be pink as I like that particular color but I am not yet ready to install the crystals for my blade. Once the hilt is made I will need to go to the crystal caves on llum to find the crystals I require. I would have liked Anakin to be present during that trip but that is impossible and I knew it. 

However things changed today. Ploon summoned me to tell me that Jedi were being dispatched to Geonosis to rescue Obi Wan and Anakin who were scheduled for execution. They had discovered a large army of battle droids there but had been caught while investigating. I must admit my heart gave a lurch when I heard that Anakin was to be executed. There was no way that I could let that happen and I looked at Ploon hoping he would tell me that we were to go to Geonosis and help in the rescue attempt.  
"All Jedi who are able to go to Geonosis have been asked to go there immediately. That includes you and I. I must stress upon you the danger of the situation we are entering. I know you will probably want to help Anakin but I must ask you to stay close to me," Ploon said.  
My heart leapt. We were going to Geonosis. Soon I would be reunited with Anakin. Suddenly I couldn't wait to see him again.  
"I am ready to go as soon as we are required to leave," I said.   
Ploon dismissed me to go and prepare for the journey by meditating. As if I could focus on the task ahead knowing I was going to be seeing Anakin again very soon.

I returned to my room and sitting on my bed began meditating. I found that by being very disciplined I could focus my thoughts on the job ahead. I realized I would need to do so in order to stay alive. I knew Anakin was still alive as I could sense his signature via the force. As I meditated I thought about the bond between us. Even when he was just 9 and newly arrived at the temple I had found myself drawn to Anakin. I still can't explain why that was. We were best friends until recently but now we are more than friends and being more than friends feels like a natural progression from best friendship. If only we didn't have to keep our relationship a secret. Its becoming harder and harder to avoid being found out. One slip would be all it would take for the council to know that Anakin and I are engaging in forbidden behavior. If that happened and we were thrown out of the order I don't know what I would do.

Ploon telling me it was time to go interrupted my meditations. We boarded a transport and a few hours later were at Geonosis. Enroute we were briefed and told that Obi Wan and Anakin had discovered that the Geonosians were using their droid factories to make droids for the Separatists. We landed near the arena where the executions were supposed to be taking place. We spread out around the arena wait for the prearranged signal. I can see Anakin chained to a pole next to Obi Wan. A number of unusual creatures were approaching the two. I could only watch as the two worked to escape before the creatures reached them. Finally we were given the signal and we engaged the enemy. By now Anakin and Obi Wan had both escaped and had killed most of the creatures in the arena. An army of droids had come out to kill them and it was these we were fighting. Despite still not being fully familiar with my borrowed lightsaber I managed to make short work of the enemy around me then began making my way towards Anakin, determined to get to him. I have no time to wonder how Ploon is doing as my concentration is fully on the battle and I am deep within the Force. I can feel it around me vibrating and guiding me. I allow it to control my actions and my movements are automatic. I am doing without thinking and the next thing I know I am next to Anakin and we are fighting back to back our blades a blur of motion. Our moves compliment each other perfectly and its as if we each know what the other is thinking.

Finally the battle is over and I can find out how Ploon did. I looked around and to my horror Ploon is lying near me not moving. I moved over to him and checked for a pulse. Oh Force there is none. Ploon can't be dead though. My master can't die now. I am not ready for the trials. Not yet. Who will train me? I looked around wildly and found that Anakin has followed me to Ploon's side.  
"I'm sorry Farra," he says.  
I dropped to my knees in the sand next to Ploon, my body racked with sobs. A deep pain courses through me and I know Anakin has sensed my anguish as he has dropped to his knees beside me and wrapped his arms around me.  
"Everything will be ok love," he murmured.  
After a few moments of grieving I dried my eyes. I am a Jedi. Death is a part of life. I cannot hold on to Ploon and must let him go. I stood and faced Anakin.  
"I am ok now. Ploon is dead and I have let him go. He is one with the Force. That is the way of things," I told Anakin.  
We both looked around wondering where Obi Wan was. We both spotted him running after someone or something and upon a closer look realized he was chasing Dooku who was fleeing. Anakin immediately set off after Dooku. I was furious at Ploon's seemingly senseless death but wisely allowed my anger to dissipate. I decided to follow Anakin and Obi Wan and thank the Force that I did. If I hadn't followed them I don't know what Anakin would have done. Anyway they chased Dooku to an underground hanger and I got there just in time to hear Obi Wan telling Anakin not to rush into battle. But Anakin paid him no heed and ran to engage Dooku. I watched as the two fought for a few minutes but then the Count did something I've never seen before. He raised his hand and blue lightning came out from his fingertips. What on earth was this? I nearly screamed when the lightning hit Anakin as it flung him backwards. He hit the floor hard and just lay there groaning. I had no idea if he was ok or not so I carefully moved around slowly until I was able to be close enough to him to put my hand on his forehead. I did so and concentrated hard using the Force to heal him as I had some healing ability. I also reminded him to control his anger and wait for the right moment to strike. Then I slipped back into the shadows, as I didn't think it would be wise for the Count to see me.

I watched the rest of the fight. Anakin and Obi Wan fight hard but are no match for the Count. What happened next is still difficult for me to think about. Anakin's right arm is cut off at the elbow. I could see that he was in a lot of pain but before I could do anything the count uses the Force to fling him away. He landed on the ground and slid a short distance. Then the Count injured Obi Wan and sent him flying into Anakin. I hate to admit it but after seeing Anakin's arm get cut off I came very close to losing my temper and joining the fight. However I managed to maintain my control and carefully made my way to where Anakin and Obi Wan were lying. I again helped Anakin to heal but can only heal him enough to allow him to get back to his feet. I cannot replace his arm for him and he will have to have prosthesis. I was able to help Anakin heal because Yoda arrived on the scene and he and Dooku fought, which distracted the Count. When Obi Wan got to his feet he saw me with Anakin and I knew I was in trouble.  
"What in the blazes are you doing here Farra?" he asked me and I could detect a hint of annoyance in his voice.  
"I followed you two in case you needed help" I said.  
"It was you who helped me maintain my control" Anakin said suddenly.   
"Yes and I helped you heal as well" I said.

Obi Wan didn't say anything more but I knew the wheels were turning in his head. If he put two and two together I'm sure he would realize why I really followed them. Sure enough when we were on the transport home and Anakin had received treatment on his stump to relieve the pain Obi Wan spoke to me.  
"You followed us because of Anakin didn't you"  
"Yes" I had to admit.  
"I'm somewhat glad you came as you seemed to help Anakin. But don't do it again. I have my suspicions about you two and what might still be going on," Obi Wan said.  
My heart nearly stopped. Surely he couldn't suspect…  
"I'm hoping I am wrong" Obi Wan went on, "as I haven't seen you two together or anything when we've been back at the temple. But then again Anakin isn't with me one hundred percent of the time. I do hope I am mistaken" he ended.  
I knew very well that I was but I didn't say anything and instead asked if I could keep Anakin company on the journey home.  
"You may but I will also be with you" Obi Wan said.  
I nodded and sat down next to Anakin asking him how he felt. He was comfortable so I turned my attention back to Obi Wan who seemed to want to talk about the battle. He had seen me fighting next to Anakin and wished to talk about that. We talked for the remainder of the journey home.


	13. Entry 13

5.05.07

It's been several days since we returned from Geonosis. Anakin has had to stay in the medical area to receive treatment for his arm. It still feels strange to not have Ploon's constant guidance and I am somewhat at a loss as to what I am supposed to do now as I don't know if another Master will take me on as his or her apprentice or if I will have to join the Jedi Service Corps. I do hope that I will be able to continue my training and become a fully-fledged Jedi. Of course I have visited Anakin every day and my visits with him are the highlight of my days. He is recovering well from his injury and a prosthetic arm is being made for him. He is already talking about tinkering with it just as he has with anything mechanical. It always makes me happy when Anakin is happy.

Today it was my turn to hide under the bed. It was after lights out and I'd snuck down to the medical area to see Anakin. We had been kissing when we heard someone coming and realizing there was no time for me to leave we'd broken the kiss and I'd scrambled under the bed. I wasn't meant to be visiting Anakin as much as I was but I couldn't seem to stay away from him. While I hid under the bed Obi Wan came in to talk to Anakin. I could see his legs and hear his voice but that was it. After they'd been talking for a while I suddenly felt the need to sneeze. Oh Force if I sneezed and Obi Wan heard me he would want to know what I was doing under the bed. Suddenly the sneeze came out and Obi Wan heard it. I closed my eyes praying he wouldn't look under the bed. But he did and of course spotted me.

"What ARE you doing in here Padawan Sti?" he asked, disapproval in his voice.

"I came to see Anakin," I said lamely.

"There are regular visiting hours in which you can see him. What were you doing with him? And I want an honest answer" Obi Wan said.

I looked at Anakin hopelessly.

"It's my fault Master. I encouraged her to come" Anakin said.

I looked at him with huge eyes. What was he doing?

Obi Wan looked at Anakin.

"What have I told you about encouraging her. You cannot have feelings for her," Obi Wan said.

"Master. I can't help it. I'm in love with her. I can't deny it any more and nor can she" Anakin said.

"Anakin!" I burst out.

"He can't tell on us. Remember" Anakin said.

I saw a look of shock cross Obi Wan's face.

"Anakin what did I tell you?" I asked.

"I know Farra but I had to say that" Anakin said.

"And why can't I tell the council about you two?" Obi Wan asked.

"Because if you do I'll tell them about you and Siri" Anakin said.

"How did you find out about that?" Obi Wan demanded to know.

Anakin told him about Siri catching us in his room.

"She told us about you two" Anakin said.

Obi Wan closed his eyes briefly. I know he was upset with Siri for telling us about them.

"Fine. I'll forget I saw this" Obi Wan said, "But please promise me that it will end today. Nothing good can come of it. Siri and I are just friends now" he ended.

I could see that Anakin was not happy to hear that. Nor was I. Neither of us could lie to Obi Wan but neither of us could bear to end it. Thankfully Obi Wan got called away before we had a chance to answer him. Saved! We were off the hook for now.


	14. Entry 14

06.06.07

It has been a month since the events on Geonosis and Anakin is now fully healed. He has showed me his new arm which is a mechanical arm. He's let me watch as he tinkers with it to improve it and he seems to enjoy himself when he does so. Obi Wan hasn't said any more about catching us together. We are both hoping he may have forgotten about that incident. However we are beginning to suspect that the Jedi Council are beginning to suspect that we may be more than friends. We are sure that Obi Wan and Siri aren't to blame as both know that if they give our secret away we will give theirs away. However more important events are on everyone's mind at the moment. The Jedi recently received word that the Seperatists have been attacking Rhen Var. Obi Wan and Anakin and I were already in the system as we'd been involved in a peacekeeping mission. That mission had taken us to a system nearby. Obi Wan hadn't wanted me to come along as he felt that Anakin and I were spending entirely too much time together. He was still of the opinion that we needed to forget about each other and concentrate on our Jedi training. Anakin and I had no intention of forgetting about each other and were in fact flying side by side in our star fighters when the new mission came through. We were both feeling bored as there hadn't been anything to do for quite some time.

"Now we might get some excitement soon. Anything to relieve this boredom would be good" Anakin told me over the comm.

"Anakin you must be patient. A Jedi is always patient" Obi Wan admonished Anakin.

It was all I could do not to laugh as Anakin is ALWAYS being told to be patient.

We returned to cruising through that sector of space but kept an eye on our sensors for enemy ships. Not long after Obi Wan commed us to tell us that he's spotted some blips on his sensors. We acknowledged his transmission then set course to intercept the blips, our instincts and the Force telling us that the blips were enemy ships. As the ships came into view we could see that they were Trade Federation ships and instantly we realized that we'd encountered an invasion force heading to Rhen Var.

The next thing I knew Anakin was diving towards the ships intending to engage them. What was he doing? Before I or Obi Wan had time to worry about Anakin's actions the ships had moved to intercept us. Anakin's diving towards them had drawn us to their attention. Obi Wan quickly transmitted a message to the Jedi council to let them know that we'd found the invasion force and I reached out through the Force to touch Anakin's mind.

"Be mindful of your emotions my love. Don't let your anger control your actions" I told him.

"I will be careful. Love you" Anakin responded.

"We should make our way down to the surface" I told Anakin.

He agreed so we dived towards the surface hoping to get down without engaging the enemy. However several Trade Federation ships moved to intercept us and started shooting. Soon we were both engaged in a dogfight. I maneuvered my fighter hoping to get behind the one who was on me but he stuck to me and I couldn't lose him to get behind him. Suddenly he landed a hit on my ship and everything spun. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the fighter that had been shooting at me disintegrate.

"Got em" I heard Anakin say through our comm.

"Anakin I'm out of control" I said.. realizing I wouldn't be able to regain control before crashing on the planet. Anakin followed me down but he couldn't prevent me from crashing. There was nothing I could do to prevent the crash either. All I could do was brace myself and wait for the inevitable. And it happened. My ship plowed into the ground and I was flung forward striking my head on the control panel knocking me unconscious.

I don't know how long I was out of it for but I would learn later that Anakin had wanted to stay with my ship and protect me after landing and finding I was out of it. He had also prevented a number of Trade Federation troops from capturing me. When he had gotten me out of the ship he'd discovered a large bump on my head and Obi Wan had concluded that my unconsciousness was due to that and to my body going into a healing trance. I woke up to find more troops heading my way having decided to be nosey and see what was going on. I got to my feet hoping that I wasn't concussed and unclipping my lightsaber from my belt activated it. The troops saw my lightsaber but kept coming anyway which meant I would have to fight. They started firing at me and I used my lightsaber to bat their bolts back at them. Suddenly they were all dead. I relaxed and not long after I saw Anakin coming back to my ship. Obi Wan wasn't with him and he looked excited. I knew he'd soon be telling me all about what he'd been up to and I was right. He told me how he'd helped evacuate the planet and how he'd gotten to use a gunship. He even told me he felt his piloting skills were improving.

"That's great Anakin. I got to do a little fighting too" I told him

"What happened?" Anakin asked.

"Some Trade Federation troops decided to be nosey and see what was going on here. My lightsaber didn't dissuade them so I had to enter into aggressive negotiations. I left none alive"

"I wish we could have been fighting together. We make a great team. Just like we did on Geonosis" Anakin said.

"Yeah. Where is Obi Wan?" Farra asked.

"He's gone to contact the council" Anakin said.

I looked at Anakin a gleam in my eye.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Anakin asked.

I nodded and moved closer to him, raising my face to his. I closed my eyes as Anakin met my lips with his. I devoured his lips, kissing him hungrily. It was the first kiss we'd had since coming on the peacekeeping mission as Obi Wan had constantly been with us and we'd never been alone together until now. It felt so good to be kissing Anakin again and I didn't want to stop. However I heard Obi Wan clearing his throat so hurriedly pushed Anakin away feeling embarrassed that Obi Wan had caught us kissing yet again.

"I thought you were going to be more mindful of your emotions Anakin" Obi Wan said.

He looked disappointed.

"I will try to do better my Master" Anakin said.

"How long has this been going on. Did it continue after I caught Farra in your room?"

"Yes Master it has continued" Anakin said.

"Please don't be angry with Anakin Master. I'm just as guilty as he is. I like him just as much as he likes me" I said.

I could see the gears in Obi Wan's mind moving.

"Is that why you followed us on Geonosis when we fought Count Dooku?" Obi Wan asked

"Yes it was. But I was able to help Anakin maintain his control" I said

"I noticed that. Maybe your relationship isn't such a bad thing if it is helpful to you both" Obi Wan said

I noticed that Anakin looked hopeful and I'm sure I did too.

"But on the other hand the council may not agree" Obi Wan said.

Obi Wan left to check on the other starfighter. Mine was badly damaged when I crashed and I knew that Obi Wan needed to figure out a way for all three of us to get off the planet and return to Coruscant.

"I can fix your starfighter. I'm sure I can" Anakin said.

"Would Obi Wan let you though?" I asked.

"I'll go and see" Anakin told me.

I could sense his excitement as I watched him hurry away to find Obi Wan. While he was gone I allowed myself to think back over the times we had spent together. We relished every moment spent together and I knew that slowly I was getting closer and closer to the time when I would allow Anakin to do the things I often caught him thinking about. He would forget that I could pick up his thoughts and start daydreaming. I began daydreaming myself but was interrupted by Anakin coming back.

"Obi Wan says I can fix your starfighter" he said.

I had guessed as much from the happy look on his face.

"Can I help?" I asked.

"I would love you to help me" Anakin said.

Anakin began by assessing the damage and working out what would be needed to be done. There wasn't much I could do to actually help him except hand him the tools he needed when he needed them.

"So what do you think about what's going on?" Anakin asked me.

"Well I do think that there could be more negotiations instead of fighting or aggressive negotiations as you like to call it. And the whole thing smells like a set up. I'm sure the Chancellor knows more than he is letting on" I said.

I didn't know it then but I had hit the nail right on the head and I would find this out several years later.

"I don't know what to think. So much is going on and so many things are happening so quickly that there is very little time to think" Anakin said.

"I know" I said.

"However I do know what to think about you. You are beautiful and I wish I didn't have to keep my feelings for you a secret. I want the world to know that I love you Farra Sti. I am not ashamed of that and nor should you be. It is not wrong to love. How can it be wrong to love" Anakin said.

"I don't believe it is wrong to love. I don't think our relationship would lead us to the dark side of the Force. I know I am a help to you. I've seen it myself. I've helped you maintain control on your temper. That is a good thing not bad" I said.

"I wonder what the council would say to that" Anakin mused.

"I bet they wouldn't see it the same way" I said.

Anakin put his tool down and moved close to me.

"I need to kiss you" he said.

I obediently raised my mouth to his and we kissed. As usual his kiss sent fireworks down my spine but we didn't let the kiss linger because we knew that Obi Wan could return at any time and there was still a lot to be done on my starfighter. I kept handing Anakin tools and we kept talking and finally the job was done.  
"There good as new my love" Anakin said.

At the same time Obi Wan appeared. He was pleased that my star fighter was fixed and suggested we make moves to go home. We boarded our star fighters and took off. After a short series of hyperspace jumps we were home. Obi Wan was required to report to the council so headed to the council chamber. Anakin and I decided to freshen up so went our own ways. As I stood under the hot water of the shower I found myself imagining Anakin with me. I felt my body react to what I imagined and I quickly cleared my mind realizing I was going places I shouldn't be going. I quickly washed the grime off my body and stepping out of the shower I dried off and dressed in clean robes. My thoughts again drifted to Anakin as it is becoming impossible to get him out of my thoughts. In fact I must confess I am thinking about him now.

Just an hour or so ago we did some lightsaber training together and it was the first time Anakin had seen the new lightsaber which I'd just finished building. I'd made the hilt look almost exactly like his and he wasn't slow to notice.

"You've made yours look similar to mine" Anakin said.

"Yes that was the idea" I said.

He kissed me and I knew he liked the fact I'd modeled my lightsaber on his.

"I don't' think I'd like the council or Obi Wan to see my saber too close up. I don't think they'd like it somehow" I said.

"Lets not worry about that now. I want to train" Anakin ended.

We trained for the next half an hour or so. At the end of the training I knew I had to say something to Anakin as I'd sensed him getting angry when he couldn't break through my defenses. I had used the Force to calm him down and it seemed to have worked. The problem was that he was still not controlling his emotions.

"I sensed you becoming angry when you couldn't get through my defenses" I told Anakin.

"And I sensed you calming me down" Anakin said.

"It would be helpful if you could control your emotions and even fight without emotion. Just let the Force flow through you" I said.

"I know I know my love. It is a weakness I am trying to overcome. I guess it stems from being able to use my emotions in my early childhood. Old habits die hard you know"

Farra nodded and kissed Anakin.

"I need to go to bed love" I said.

Anakin winked and I picked up on what he was thinking.

"Give me half an hour to get ready for bed and then you can come and visit me like you always do. I wouldn't miss it for the world.

I headed back to my room and quickly prepared for bed. Anakin's visits were always the best part of the day and I knew tonight would be no exception. My whole body was aching for Anakin to devour it but I knew that the time was not right. I wasn't yet ready for that and wouldn't be for quite awhile. As I prepared for bed my thoughts traveled back to what had happened when we trained. It had become clear to me that I am a soothing influence on Anakin and that I am able to prevent him using his anger and rage to help him win in fights. If only the council could see that we are good for each other. But pigs would fly before that happened. It seems hopeless but we must be prepared to continue to have to see each other in secret for as long as it takes. If something happens to change the council's mind then that would be good. But I'm not getting my hopes up. I know Anakin is resigned to us having to keep our relationship a secret for always. I shudder to think what will happen if I allow Anakin to do what he wants to do with me and I get pregnant as I wouldn't be able to hide it forever. That is one reason why I know I can't let that happen any time soon. Oops Anakin is here. Gotta stop writing now.


	15. Entry 15

10.06.07

Its now been a few days since we got back from Rhen Var. We all had had to attend a debrief to discuss what had taken place on the planet. Although we'd managed to evacuate most of the inhabitants of the planet we had not been able to prevent the Separatists from taking the planet. As we had done our best we were told not to feel bad. The aim had been to evacuate the planet NOT stop the take over. We had achieved our goals so the council was satisfied with our performance. Anakin and I had managed to train together each day over the last few days. I am noticing more and more that we compliment each others styles and this also leads me to believe that we work better together than apart. I still do not know if I am to receive a new master or if I will go into the general pool of Padawans. I hope it is the former as I would like a new master and be able to finish my training. It is my deepest desire to become a Jedi Knight. That and to be Anakin's wife.

I must confess that it has been good to be able to see Anakin every day for the last few days and I hope to be sent on more missions with him. I couldn't bear it if I was left behind again as I would miss Anakin so much that I'm sure the council would notice that I wasn't entirely happy. No I need to be with Anakin as much as I can. Right now he's sitting beside me watching as I write this. I let him read my diary because there is no secret between us. We know each others deepest secrets and keep nothing from each other. He has shared with me his rage and pain when he lost his mother and how he slaughtered the Tuskans. I can't begin to understand how he must have felt when he lost his mother, having never known my mother as I was taken from her at a very young age. From what I was told it was at 6 months old but I will never know for sure. And I know I was born on Alderaan as I've been privy to that much information. I don't know if Farra Sti was my birth name or if those names were given to me by the Jedi after I came to the Temple. Anakin is smiling as he reads these words. Now he's suggesting we should go to Alderaan sometime and find out. Unfortunately I am forbidden to find out about my birth parents as there is too much risk of me forming an attachment with them and any siblings I may have. Anakin is now telling me that he thinks that we should be able to have attachments with family just like we should have attachments with each other if we want them.

Anyway yesterday I had to attend the mock fights the senior younglings have to show potential masters what we can do. Anakin came to support me and I could see him in the crowd. Heaven knows what Obi Wan must have thought and I didn't see him in the crowd so I suppose it didn't interest him to watch us competing with each other. I rather suspect that Anakin told him he simply wanted to watch the younglings fighting and neglected to tell him that I was participating. I don't know if he knows now or not and I don't think I'd like him to find out. Anakin is telling me that Obi Wan doesn't know about it and he doesn't intend for Obi Wan to find out. Anyway at the fight I won easily as I had begun training in the Dejem So form as that was the form Ploon used and I wished to use it as a mark of respect to him. I had originally trained in Soresu which was also Obi Wan's preferred form. So my lightsaber skills were more advanced than my opponents. At the end of each fight other Padawans were cheering when their friends won. I saw Anakin leap to his feet and punch the air when I won and when I caught his eye he winked. I winked back and he gave me a thumbs up and smiled. He's telling me he'd have liked to have blown me a kiss but didn't dare since there were lots of people around including some of the council. I can understand that. Anyway it was somewhat of a surprise that I learnt that the Masters looking for a Padawan weren't interested in me. However I've been told by the council that as I was already a Padawan that I should eventually be chosen by another Master. Anakin is confident that I will eventually be chosen. And he hopes that somehow Obi Wan might be allowed to finish my training and that we would both be his Padawans. Unfortunately Masters are only allowed one Padawan at a time so I doubt that will happen.

Back to today. I had spent a quiet morning in the archives completing some assignments for the educative side of my training but that was disrupted as other Jedi came into the archives talking excitedly. From their conversations I learnt that the Separatists had a base on Raxus Prime and that Dooku had been seen there. It seems that the Separatists were digging for something and intelligence suggested it was something called the Force Harvester. I immediately did a search for Force Harvester and learnt that it was the power source for something called the Dark Reaper. I researched the Dark Reaper and learnt that it sucked the living Force out of a certain area to power its weapons and that a former Jedi Knight called Ulic Quel Droma had managed to defeat it and knew how to withstand its effects. Unfortunately he was dead but the location of his tomb was given. I couldn't wait to tell Anakin but he already knew as Obi Wan had briefed him. Now we are all waiting for the council to decide what to do.

I need to stop writing now as Anakin is getting impatient. He's wanting to kiss me and cuddle me and maybe tickle me. I'm picking up his thoughts. Gotta go.


	16. Entry 16

15.06.07

The Jedi Council finally decided what to do about the situation on Raxus Prime. I found out from Anakin last night that he and Obi Wan were being sent to Raxus Prime to investigate the digging site and see if the Separatists were looking for the Force Harvester. If they were we needed to stop them at all costs. After Anakin told me about their mission I knew I had to go along with them, as I knew I could help Anakin maintain his hold on his temper. So I spoke to Obi Wan this morning and asked if I might be permitted to go on the mission with them. As I was still Master less I hadn't been assigned on any missions of my own. At first Obi Wan was reluctant for me to go along and I knew he felt that I just wanted to spend time with Anakin.

"Its not that Master" I protested, "Remember how I helped Anakin to keep his temper under control on Geonosis?" I added.

Obi Wan DID remember and he realized that maybe it would be wise to have me along. So I gained permission to go. Of course Anakin was delighted when I told him.

We left a few hours later and reached Raxus Prime before the clone attack force arrived. Descending to the surface we landed safely avoiding any crashes this time and popped our canopies. As we climbed out of our ships we couldn't see the digging site but Anakin suddenly sensed Dooku's presence so we knew we were close. At the same time as Anakin sensed Dooku's presence a convoys of Separatist troops start coming past us. The three of us ignite our lightsabers as the troops have noticed us. Blaster bolts are suddenly flying in all directions and we are parrying them back in the direction they came from. Bodies of troopers start piling up around us and suddenly troopers start flying in all directions. I see that Anakin is flinging them away with the Force, using them as living missiles to knock down other troopers. I follow his lead and finish off those that are down with my lightsaber. Eventually all of the Seperatist troops are dead and at the same time a clone force arrive to destroy the digging site. We watch as the clones do their job and just as we are preparing to leave I sense Anakin getting excited. He tells us he's seen Dooku heading to his ship.

"I'm going to sneak aboard and see what he's up to" Anakin tells Obi Wan and I.

"Alright. Be careful. May the Force be with you" Obi Wan said.

Anakin nods and takes off running. Remembering that I have helped Anakin in the past to control his actions I turned to Obi Wan.

"I'm going with him. I think he'll need my help to keep control," I said.

"Go" Obi Wan said.

I ran after Anakin. When I caught up to him we made our way over to Dooku's ship and silently slip on board. Finding hiding places we feel the ship take off. I felt it would be better to wait and see what Dooku is up to but Anakin being Anakin insisted on confronting Dooku. He drops out of his hiding place to land silently, igniting his lightsaber. I remained where I was, as I knew that Anakin could handle himself. I did reach out in the Force to touch Anakin and help him to remain calm. Unfortunately another guy appeared out of nowhere and began firing stun bolts at Anakin. I couldn't stay hidden any longer, as I knew that the new enemy needed to be taken out so Anakin could deal with Dooku. I dropped down from my hiding place igniting my lightsaber in a fluid motion. As I land I see that Anakin has been stunned. I let the Force control my actions and bat the stun bolts away from myself. Of course the Count hasn't remained passive. I called Anakin's saber to my spare hand and use that to parry the blows the Count has started aiming at me while using my own saber to deflect stun bolts. Unfortunately I couldn't hold out forever and finally the Count disarmed me. However by then Anakin had gotten up again. Was I relieved to see that he was ok. I had managed to destroy the other man's stun pistol so was concentrating on the Count. Anakin returns to the fray. I turned to resume battling the Cunt only to be hit by Force Lightning. I screamed as a searing pain passed through me.

"Farra!! No!!! Anakin cried out as he heard me scream

Darkness descended as the pain intensified and my last memory is of Anakin running forward.


	17. Entry 17

16.06.07

What a day it has been today. Thankfully I'm back on Coruscant and Anakin and Obi Wan are also safe. But I should go back to the beginning of the day and tell you the whole story.

I woke this morning in prison on Alaris Prime. It seemed I was out of it for nearly 24 hours. Dooku's lightning must have really done a number on me. I wasn't alone as there was another female in the cell with me. She wasn't familiar to me but she could tell that I was now awake as she was watching me. Weather she had realized I was a Jedi or not I don't know. Checking myself over I realized my lightsaber was gone but I had expected that it would be since I was a prisoner. I hoped that Anakin had managed to take it before the Count could after I blacked out. Propping myself up on my arms I looked at the other female.

"How long have you been here?" I asked.

"A few days longer than you. Dooku put me in here after I outlived my usefulness to him" she said.

"I'm Farra and you are?" I asked

"I am Bera Kazan" the female said.

Bera went on to tell me that she was a bounty hunter.

"So why were you helping Dooku?" I asked.

He was looking for something called the Force Harvester and I knew where it was. I was to be paid for showing him where it was. However he double crossed me and threw me in here" Bera said.

Hearing this made me angry but I swallowed my anger knowing that a Jedi did not use anger to help them. Bera couldn't have known what the Harvester did.

"Do you know what the Harvester does?" I asked.

"No idea. I just heard that Dooku was looking for it and as I knew where it was I offered my services" Bera said.

"The Harvester is designed to drain the life from any living being, whether they are Force-sensitive or not" I explained to her, "In other words it will kill them. If Dooku tests it here we will all die" I said.

Bera looked appalled.

"I had no idea," she whispered.

"I did because I am a Jedi Padawan and learnt of the Harvester at the Temple," I explained.

I knew we needed to escape so I reached out in the Force to detect if there were any weak areas in the cell and discovered that by using the Force I could remove the bars. However before I could put my plan into action Dooku entered the cell.

"I am afraid Anakin has not survived" Dooku told me.

I felt the room spin as my world dropped out from underneath me. Surely Anakin wasn't… dead??""

"Nooo" I cried out before I could stop myself.

"Your feelings betray you, Jedi. You care for Anakin do you not," Dooku said.

I realized that Dooku now knew how I felt about Anakin. Then I remembered that I could find out if Anakin was indeed dead or if Dooku was lying and Anakin was still alive. I closed my eyes and concentrating reached out into the Force probing for Anakin's life sign. To my intense relief I found it and knew Dooku had lied.

"You lie Dooku! Anakin is still alive. I would have felt his death in the Force if he were dead" I said.

After confirming that Anakin was alive still I realized that I would have felt his death in the Force at the moment he'd died. Unless I was unconscious.

Dooku snarled and turning on his heel he marched out of the room. I sank to my knees knowing that Dooku now knew that Anakin and I were close. However I'd beaten him this time. Bera interrupts my thoughts by suggesting we escape. I nodded my thoughts on the task at hand. I knew though that by not giving into fear I haven't allowed Dooku to use what he knows against me. I reached into the Force and use it to view the room we are in and allow it to show me weaknesses. The window in the room has bars on it and these can be torn away. It is a simple manipulation of the Force and takes but a few moments.

"Follow me" I tell Bera then leap up onto the windowsill.

I leapt down to the ground, some meters below using the Force to cushion my impact. Then Bera follows and I use the Force to cushion her landing too. We run into the woods nearby with me in the lead. As we enter the woods I spot some single trooper aerial platforms and make a split second decision that we will commandeer them. I hold up my hand for Bera to halt and when she has done so I creep forward using the Force to mask my movements. I don't have my lightsaber as Dooku either took it from me after I passed out or Anakin may have it along with his. I hope Anakin has it. When I get close to the troopers I use the Force to knock the troopers off the platforms at the same time leaping on to one of them. I bring the STAP's cannons to bear on the two downed troopers and return the fire they are sending my way. None of their blaster bolts have hit me as I used the force to deflect them with a raised hand. Bera climbs onto the other STAP and we make good our escape.

We come out of the forest near a separatist base and I decide to sneak into it and contact the Republic. There is a Wookie settlement nearby and I decide that Bera should wait there while I get into the Seperatist base. The Wookies are only too happy to provide Bera with protection and I leave her with them and make my way into the Seperatist base. I use the Force to mask my presence and locate the communications center. I quickly send a message to the Republic who promise to send troops to extract me from Alaris Prime. I return to the Wookie settlement and tell Bera that the Republic are coming. She wants to know what will happen to her.

"I can't honestly say," I tell her.

While we wait for the republic troops to arrive Bera and I hold off the separatists with a Seperatist tank I had stolen while getting into the city. I had used the Force to convince the troops on it to get off of it and leave it. Finally the Republic troops arrived and I was pleased to see both Anakin and Obi Wan with them. They were leading the troops on Jedi speeders. When Anakin saw that I was alive and ok he stopped his speeder and dismounting came running over to me. He enveloped me in a hug and I could sense his relief through the Force.

"Oh Farra, thank the Force that you're ok. I was out of my mind with worry about you but I knew you'd be ok. I knew that you would be safe in the living Force" Anakin said to me.

He raised my face to his and met my lips with his. His kiss conveyed his relief to me and I kissed back not caring that Obi Wan had stopped his speeder and dismounted. He watched us his arms folded but didn't say anything. When Anakin broke the kiss he smiled at me.

"Seeing your beautiful face makes this mission worthwhile" he said.

It was then that Obi Wan came over to us.

"It is good to see that you are ok," he said to me.

We quickly moved apart hoping that Obi Wan wouldn't tell us off yet again. He didn't say anything but looked at us with a stern look. I could sense his disappointment and I could tell that Anakin could too.

"Anakin that reminds me. Dooku knows about our relationship. He lied to me that you were dead and I failed to control my emotions. I am truly sorry and will do better in the future" I said

"This is a disturbing development," Obi Wan said.

I don't believe he can use that knowledge against us unless we give into our fear. I for one will not do that. And I stood up to the dear Count and told him I knew you were still alive Anakin and that if you were dead I'd have felt it through the Force" I said.

"Good for you" Anakin said, smiling at me as he did so.

We take speeders and enter the battle going on between Separatist troops and our own troops. It doesn't take us long to take care of the Separatists and soon we are on our way back to Coruscant. As Bera helped me escape she would be free to go once we were on Coruscant. The journey home was uneventful and when we arrived on Coruscant we were told we would have to report on what had happened to the council the next morning. Now it is time for me to spend time with Anakin. He's been waiting for me to finish this entry. Good night.


	18. Entry 18

17.06.07

Anakin and I are free to be together!! Yes that's right you heard correctly. Anakin and I are free to be together. I never dreamt this day would come. Anyway I had better start where I left off. We had returned to Coruscant from Alaris Prime and after a goodnight's sleep we were all refreshed. We reported to the Jedi Council and told them that Dooku had gotten away with the Force Harvester. That was when we learnt that the Force Harvester was the power source for something called the Dark Reaper. We were ordered to go back to Rhen Var and recapture the Force Harvester. At the end of the meeting we returned to the Jedi Hanger and taking our star fighters we returned to Rhen Var.

On our arrival we had a briefing with the commanders of the Republic Forces. The briefing is brief because there wasn't much time to loose. Soon we were in battle with the Separatist Forces. As Anakin and I fought I could tell that we were getting better and better as a team. It was as if we could read each other's minds. Obviously we could read each other's actions through the Force. I took out 10 battle droids with one spin. Then 12 droidekas roll up and Anakin and I leapt towards them at the same time. Our blades made quick work of them although one managed to land a glancing blow on Anakin's right shoulder. I sensed him growing angry so I quickly concentrated sending some of my inner calm his way. To my relief I sensed him calming down and returning to his inner calm. Finally the battle was over and Anakin told me he needed to talk to Obi Wan. He told Obi Wan that he needed to go to the tomb of Ulic Quel Drama. I knew from my studies that Ulic was a Jedi Master during the time of the Sith Wars. Apparently Master Windu had told Anakin that Ulic knew how to withstand the effects of the Dark Reaper. Anakin wanted to talk to Ulic's spirit to learn how he too could withstand the effects of the Reaper. Obi Wan permitted Anakin to go to Ulic's tomb but decided not to go himself as there were still some Separatists to mop up. I asked Obi Wan what he would like me to do.

"Go with Anakin he will need you to keep him calm" Obi Wan told me.

I nodded to Obi Wan then rejoined Anakin. Taking speeders we made our way to Ulic's tomb. There we encountered powerful Force Ghosts who wanted to know why we were there. Anakin bravely told them we wished to speak with Ulic but they suddenly attacked us. We fought them but it didn't seem like we could defeat them. Then I reached into the Force and realized that each ghost was connected to a tomb. To defeat them we needed to destroy each tomb that was connected to a ghost. I quickly explained this to Anakin then ran to a nearby tomb. Reaching out in the Force I quickly spotted a weak spot. Concentrating I used the Force to push apart the weak spot and the tomb crumbled. Triumphantly I relayed to Anakin how to destroy the tombs and we made short work of the rest.

Finally Ulic appears as a Force Spirit. We bowed reverently to him and then Ulic told Anakin what he needed to know. Anakin thanked Ulic and we turned to leave.

"Wait I have something else to tell you" Ulic said

"Yes" Anakin asks, after we had turned back.

"A closeness I sense between you. This closeness is the will of the Force. You are two parts of one whole. Only together will you be strong. Apart you will be weak" Ulic told us

"Thank you Master Ulic" I said

Ulic then took his leave of us we returned to Obi Wan. Anakin excitedly told him what Ulic had told him. Then I told him the rest.

"This the council must be told" Obi Wan says, "It is clear your relationship is meant to be. I was wrong to try to stop it. Of course I did not know what I know now," Obi Wan said, " So you have my blessing to be together"

He contacted the council a short while later and they ordered us to Thule, as both the Dark Reaper and the Force Harvester were both there. We are now enroute to Thule and I must stop because Anakin is wanting my attention.

A/N: I've decided not to write anymore of this as I've lost interest in this fic.


End file.
